Busy occupying myself with all the files in front of my desk the whole morning... Trying to stay calm and focus, yet preparing myself for the phone call that I had to make in the afternoon to collect the result...
Struggled to make the call... Tummy upset... Hands shaking...
Mind was soooooooo calm, yet body reacted totally opposite...
Result was told through the phone... busy making a few more calls to arrange further appointments... Updated my manager and agreed to let my team leader knows... Totally feeling well and calm at that point of time...
Finally came back to my own desk and let all information sunk in... Started to feel sick to the stomach... until I received the email from my team leader that my eyes started to fill with tears... Hold it back... Hold it back... Look up the ceiling... Dry up dry up... I tried and tried... but I broke down when a lady from another Dept walked pass gave me a big warm hug (cos she thought I was upset due to workloads)...
I went down stairs to get some fresh air... Felt so much better... Felt so bad to make the girls in my Dept worry about me, yet I couldn't tell them what was wrong... I... Don't want them to treat me any differently... Too much love, too much caring, making me weak... I have to be strong...
Just as I turned around and walked back to the building... I heard a loud whistle... Turned around and there he was, smiling... His smile was contagious... He noticed I cried before and he didn't ask... We went into the lift and didn't press the floor number... Joke a little and he squeezed my face so hard, I smiled... I felt so much better then... Sometimes I wonder if he was another angel who was sent to my rescue...
Came back to my Dept and apologized to the girls...
Talked about other things and everything went back to normal again...
Felt much better for having the chance to cry a little... That was the down point... but I managed to climb back and accept my destiny and prepare for the battles...
Struggled to make the call... Tummy upset... Hands shaking...
Mind was soooooooo calm, yet body reacted totally opposite...
Result was told through the phone... busy making a few more calls to arrange further appointments... Updated my manager and agreed to let my team leader knows... Totally feeling well and calm at that point of time...
Finally came back to my own desk and let all information sunk in... Started to feel sick to the stomach... until I received the email from my team leader that my eyes started to fill with tears... Hold it back... Hold it back... Look up the ceiling... Dry up dry up... I tried and tried... but I broke down when a lady from another Dept walked pass gave me a big warm hug (cos she thought I was upset due to workloads)...
I went down stairs to get some fresh air... Felt so much better... Felt so bad to make the girls in my Dept worry about me, yet I couldn't tell them what was wrong... I... Don't want them to treat me any differently... Too much love, too much caring, making me weak... I have to be strong...
Just as I turned around and walked back to the building... I heard a loud whistle... Turned around and there he was, smiling... His smile was contagious... He noticed I cried before and he didn't ask... We went into the lift and didn't press the floor number... Joke a little and he squeezed my face so hard, I smiled... I felt so much better then... Sometimes I wonder if he was another angel who was sent to my rescue...
Came back to my Dept and apologized to the girls...
Talked about other things and everything went back to normal again...
Felt much better for having the chance to cry a little... That was the down point... but I managed to climb back and accept my destiny and prepare for the battles...
No comments:
Post a Comment