Bitter & Sweet

[ little birdy ] relapse

I think it was just last Friday that I was listening to that song Creep... and it's impossible not to remember some of the bitter sweet memories whenever I come across that song... Anyway, I've always said whenever I thought of someone all of a sudden, I'd hear from them... My instinct in this field has always been quite accurate... *wink*

So much in my mind now... about life and death... about past and present... about bitter and sweet memories... about timing... about belated cares and concerned... about why I still easily get all teary about things... and why I wonder about what the present would be like if [ ? ] ...and how I miss the great things that will never be...

I try to tell myself... that this is meant to be [ that, then, this, now ] ...

Demons, Angels, Green Fairy in us...

[ panic! at the disco ] i write sin not tragedy

First page of the book they wrote, "Thank you for helping us with our Demons, and being the Angel that you are"... They gave me a set of Dan Brown's books because I bought them Green Fairy from my Bali trip last month... [sweet]

I had a sip of Green Fairy few weeks ago with them... Fabulous drink!!! ...I am surprised that I still managed to work after drinking a small glass... hehe...

Green Fairy has a long and interesting history... 19 century favour by the Bohemian poets, artists and musicians... They said the famous Toulouse Lautrec carried it in his hollowed cane... and they also said Van Gough cut off his ear after drinking it as well... The Green Fairy was once banned too in Europe...

Anyway, any [Moulin Rouge] movie lovers here? ...Remember the Green Fairy [Kylie Minogue] appears in the scene where all the musicians and artists was drunk at the apartment? This is the drink that they were having... =)

"The first stage is like ordinary drinking, the second is when you begin to see monstrous cruel things, but if you persevere you will enter upon the third stage where you see things that you want to see, wonderful curious things." -- Oscar Wilde on Absinth.

I wanna try it out one day and exprience the 2nd and 3rd stage like they said!!! ...

Upset with Socceroos' exit...

[ shannon noll ] lift

I am not upset at losing... but I am very very furious over HOW the game ended... Stupid Referee!!! ...No wonder they said Italian team had 11 men in their team (10 men left + 1 referee!!!!!)... @#$#^#$%!!!

The whole day, none of us in the office wanted to talk about it... It's just upsetting... We all felt so unfair and robbed... $%@$^$%... Not even the Italian felt proud of winning the match, as they also said Socceroos doesn't deserve this!!! ...URGH!!!! ...

Anyone going to buy me some Rum & Raisin ice-cream to cool me down? ...

GP Lounge/Pub

[ portishead ] glory box

Today went out with a friend for lunch because I haven't met up with him since I came back from Bali. As usual, we spent our day eat, eat and eat... and bitching about putting on weight during this cold Winter... Oh well, that's what food lovers do when they meet!! ...

After lunch, we drove back to city to hunt for a good place to sit down and have some dessert so that we could continue bitching about our own lives... Found a new interesting place next to GPO (hidden treasure!!)... And went to Little Collins Street to check out more hidden hangout to have a cuppa... And that's when I saw Gin Palace's door AGAIN!!!... So Happy!! ...(I've been to Gin Palance once before, and it's SO DAMN HARD to find the entrance because the entrance has no light, and it looks like a warehouse door without any fancy decos)...

Well, Melbourne has a lot of hidden treasures and if you're not regulars and if you don't come out often, you wouldn't even know these hidden treasures exist... Anyway, we went in and occupied one cozy corner all to ourselves and spent the rest of the afternoon there! ...Though their speciality is 1951 Gin-Martini (which they won the 1951 Martini competition in Chicago) but we didn't try any (yet!)...

Love this place... I'll bring anyone of you there if you guys love a cozy, sexy New York style boho-chic atmosphere... and a glass of Martini... shake... but not stirr... =P

World Cup Fever Lunchtime

My company's social club organized a penalty kick competition on Friday lunch and we all came to work in casual... With Australia's Socceroos advanced to the next round of the World Cup tournament in the early morning match (5am), everybody came to work with extremely hyper mood...

During lunch time, we all walked to the park, and getting ready to win the $50 (whoever scores the highest get the cash of course) ...Everybody gets 2 chances and there's 2 rounds for all of us... Anyway, I didn't score any goal... it was fun as everybody go a little wild and crazy...


(Everyone is ready to score... )
(The ladies who's wearing heals bitching about their pointy boots and they wanted extra chances?!! WTF!!)


(We're the Socceroos' supporters... hehehe...
(And me aiming for a goal !! )

[ sophie koh ] creep
One of my all time favourite song... a song which brought back a lot of memories... The Creep... (Came across a cover version by this singer. She was born in New Zealand & her parents are both Malaysian)...

I know whenever I hear somewhere only we know [ keane ] I will remember KR and Rabbit... So, which song do you listen to, that reminds you of me? ...Do we have a song that belong to us?

Pain

[ three days grace ] pain

Was talking about I'm not a fan of PAIN...
On the other hand... I like this PAIN... lolx...

Children anybody?!

[ end of fashion ] rough diamonds

Was reading MX the other day about Johnny Depp claims that his life changed after his daughter Lily-Rose was born. Watch the birth of his first child banished the anger and selfishness from his character. "It was the first purely self-less moment, it was deliberating... There was clarity... It's like you become something else, the real you is revealed"...

I wanna have baby tooooooooooooo!!! ... *lolx*

Anyway, I was chatting to my friend who has just given birth not that long ago... I think after knowing all the FINE DETAILS of what she's been through to deliver the baby... I find it even harder to imagine myself having my own child / children in the future... No!!! I am not a fan of PAIN!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love kids and babies oh-so-very-much (except the flower kid - you'd know which one if I've told you the story about my Bali trip)... Yes I love cute babies and kids... and I think I know that "self-less" feeling is like (and I think I will like it?)...

How I wish I have a magic-stick, that I can just *ping*ping* a cute little baby for myself without going through the pregnant and giving birth stage... hehehehe... and have this cute little baby as the centre of my attention and my whole world... and move on to the next chapter of life with my baby......... (errr... nah, I still can't imagine I have kids at this moment of time cos i'm still a big kid myself... =/

Oh yeah... Listening to this song... I like it... do you?

My top 10 playlist today...

[ augie march ] one crowded hour!!!
[ pete murray ] opportunity??
[ nickel back ] savin' me...
[ jewel ] again and again...
[ jack johnson ] upside down?!?!?
[ three days grace ] i hate everything about you!!!!!
[ audio slave ] i'm the highway?!
[ billy joey ] honesty...
[ extreme ] more than words...
[ tenacious d ] tribute to the best song in the world!!!

Hard Working

Draw Draw Draw... Keep the inspiration flowing...
Learn Learn Learn... Learn more new techniques...
Quick Quick Quick... Fingers try to catching up...
Pencil Pen Marker & Drawing Pad...
Computer Scanner Photoshop & Illustrator...

Jumping for JOY!!

Well done SOCCEROOS!!!!!! ...What an inspiring, tension-filled and thrilling win over Japan last night!! ...Australia should have declared a national holiday today!!! ...cos everyone of us in the office were sooooooooo sleepy!! ...Even our manager called in sick... *muahahahaaaaaaaa*

Anyway, during the first half, Japan was leading (Aus 0 : Jap 1) and I was soooooooooo FRUSTRATED with that goal... I nearly went to bed!! ...On the other hand, I was smiling too cos I bought an "insurance" (I placed $10 bet on Japan would win)... hiak hiak hiak...

Errr... Don't ask me where is the LOGIC behind me supporting Socceroos in my heart yet placing bet on Japan would win... (cos I also find myself a bit hard to understand sometimes... hehehe)

Well, I think this is a DAMN GOOD example of "when mind and heart doesn't agree to each other!!!"... So in order to satisfy both, I did the most ILLOGICAL thing... hmmm... Make sense right?!?!

Space and Privacy

Not really sure what have been happening to me lately (again)... I crave for lots of space and privacy... and I am becoming a little anti-social as I wouldn't pick up anyone's phone call at all!? ...I just don't feel like talking to anyone... I just want my own space... I just wish I had more time to lie on the bed and read my books or doodle on my drawing pad, and I'll be happy...

A dear friend called my mobile at 1030pm last night. I didn't pick it up because I felt asleep reading a book. Then my house phone rang. It was late. (I thought we are not meant to call anyone's house phone especially when it was way past 9pm at night?) ...Anyway, just as I unwillingly dragged myself out of bed and ran to the phone, it stopped ringing?! ...#$%$%... Jumped back into bed and my mobile phone rang again... Picked up the call, and my dear friend was asking me where the papaya is STOKER cos he wanted to go there with his friend!? ...Hmm...

I have to admit that I was quite annoyed... Why? ...Well, it wasn't the FIRST time he asked me how to get there... It wasn't the first time that he called me up LATE just to ask me where STOKER is and he has been there a few times! ...I'm sure you'd get annoyed too if a person kept asking you the same question again and again, yet they couldn't be bothered remember the answer! ...I mean, if you like the place so much, why is it so hard for you to remember?

Also, the second thing was the fact that he couldn't reach me on my mobile, and rang my home phone (not remembering I have told him not to ring my home phone after 10pm!), and rang my mobile again... I mean, if this was an urgent matter, I would understand... but to TRACK me down like that just to find out where Stoker is, was unacceptable!! ...

I had another friend who is ever WORST! ...He tried to reach me on my mobile (I was somewhere and couldn't hear my mobile ringing and didn't pick up)... so he rang my home phone... and then he rang my (then) boyfriend's phone... just to ask me some unimportant matter... HELLO!? ...You don't ring the whole world to track someone down JUST TO ask something that is not so urgent at all...

I felt that my privacy and my space have been infringed... I felt like I am only the one they remember to call when they needed something at that very moment... I felt like they don't understand that people do need some space sometimes, and sometimes there's a reason people do not pick up their phone calls, and that's when they should KNOW it's better to SMS rather than keep calling EVERY numbers that they could think of to reach that someone...

Hmm... I winged a lot tonight... I think I want my space and my privacy lately, that's why all these blah-blah... Normally, I wouldn't think it's a big deal... Hmmph...

(Kev, i still love you my dear friend... hehee... just need to let it out cos I've been feeling quite weird lately)

Today

Do you have days when you feel that you've become a hollow shell of yourself? These two days, I cruised the day routinely, no emotions, no thoughts, no nothing... Aware of the numbness, yet not going to do a damn thing about it... Could it be the sign of another longer holiday is needed? ...hehehehe...

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"Holidays" --- A word that excites me always!! ...
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My Online Personality Test

(Is this the me that you know? =)
The Five Factor Personality Test

Extroversion:
You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:
You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:
You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:
You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

Overdue

My Bali travel entries have finally came to an end today!! ...*phew*...Yes, it's an overdue entries... Finally got that over and done with, and I guess I could move on now?? ...(I hope my brain is catching the overdue flight back to Melb tonight as I think I left it in Bali!!!)...

Well, it's quite a strange feeling as ever since I came back from Bali, there's not a single day that I don't miss or recall those bits and pieces in Bali... Walked past KFC or McDonald would also remind me of Bali (cos their KFC and McDonald comes with rice?!)...Saw my tatts and reminds me of Bali again... and etc etc etc... hmmmph...

I felt as if I've been living in a different dimension... Like my body is here but my mind wasn't... cos it's either still in Bali or at The Lake House... *muahahaha*...

Anyway, now that I have completed the Bali Travel entries, I guess I would give myself a few more days to say my final good-byes before I completely move on...

Struggles...

Watched too much of The Lake House trailer... Mind is not only being Keanutized (Rabbit invented this word!)... it also started to wander in 3rd, 4th, and 5th dimensions... I tried not to think about it too much, as the more I think, the more I suffer... (The movie wouldn't be released in Australia until late July... Which is still so damn FAR away... Getting really impatience... grrr...)

Funny... Why would we have to struggle NOT thinking about someone too much, when we know we can't stop thinking about them ? ...Is this some kinda self-protection-mechanism in us? ...

Have you ever purposely wait till the person come and talk to you first, just because you like them so much that you don't want to be the person who start the conversation first? ...(WHY??? Are you like that too??)

Why things have to be so complicated? ...(So?!! ...Why don't you talk to me first?) ...Who? ...(None of your *stawberry* business!!)