Promise Has Finally Realized...

[ mika nakashima ] glamorous sky

My dearest friend Doki is coming to Melb in mid April!! ...
I'm so excited...
The promise has finally realized after 15yrs...
How would things be without any promises in the future, I wonder...

Doki, you can be the one who shave my head... =)

Hustler N'ever

[ anna tsuchiya ] kuroi namida

Haven't played snooker at Hustler for probably just 5 weeks or 6 weeks? ...but it felt like I haven't played for ages... Even that part of the memories seemed so far away already (a sign of moving on? ...lolx!) ...Anyway, I was back to playing Snooker tonight and it's the first time we played 3 games in one night (a great sign of improvements... heeee!!!)

I figured a person's personality or character easily be revealed from playing Snooker (or any other games)... Just like those who plays Poker or Mahjong... I couldn't believe I saw so many flaws in him tonight... and I don't think I like him anymore... AH-HAHAHHAA!! ...(I'm serious ...I don't anymore!!)...

Well, I know nobody is perfect... but I personally couldn't tolerate someone who enjoy showing off and then have this proud and "oh-i-am-so-good-kinda-look" stamped on their face... For example, he was aiming at this pink ball and said, "usually it is really hard to get this ball into this pocket" and then he confidently hit that bloody pink ball into the pocket!! ...and then that "oh-i-am-so-good-kinda-look" would shows on his face while he walked around the table to have his next shot... Of course, the whole night I have told him off about his showing off character...

Another thing that I found it weird, was that he was so damn calculative... I mean, he really wouldn't give in any points at all... Even the guy who was playing at the next table looked at me and gave me this amusing smiled of what he over heard...

What happened was I accidentally hit a white ball straight into the pocket... and we forgot to add those points into his total and we played on until he suddenly remembered, and despite already had higher points than me by milesssssss, he still insisted to add that extra 4 points onto his total without waiving it off... (I honestly believe any other GENTLEMAN would have waived that 4 points when they play with any female or weaker opponent)... =/

Anyway, I think I have improved, that's why he felt threatened... AH-HAHAHAHA!! (yeah right!)

Clarity...

[ muse ] unintended

I've just realised that... I have mistaken "understand and accepting" as "positive"... No wonder I always felt that there's missing pieces somewhere or things just couldn't make sense...

This morning I woke up and thought things through slowly, about my approach of "being positive" and trying to find out what went wrong... and I smiled... as with the help of the "Law of Attraction" and "The Buddha, Geof and Me"... I finally understand that, I am actually killing myself with the way I used to think...

There's a sense of clarity within me now... as the more I understand... the more I liked the way how everything just so make sense...

I am happy today, as I found the light... the clarity... the answer... and the meaning... =)

Melb Food & Wine Fest - Cafe Di Stasio

[ nat king cole ] l.o.v.e

It's Melbourne Food & Wine Festival... Many restaurants offer special menu for bargaining price... Absolutely a great chance to eat great food... hehe...

We went to Cafe Di Stasio at Fitzroy Street, St Kilda for 2 course meal ($30) today... It has this Tuscany type of decorations (the wall and the wall lamp status) and the waiters all stand very straight and extremely professional... Though it is not a very spacious restaurant, the dim atmosphere gives us a very comfy and classy feelings...

Once be seated, every table will be given a bottle of imported water (which you'll find out it's been added onto your bill end of the meal... hehe... *evil smile*)... Well, we all decided to have Entree + Main Meal... so that we could go somewhere else for Dessert... hehe... Smart yeah?! ...*wink*...

Hmm... The food was not too bad and it's small portion (but we still came out feeling full)... Not a "wow" factor kinda food, but we don't have any complains neither...

Anyway, the only eye-popping thing was the bill that shows the 2 bottles of water were almost $10 EACH!! ...!@#@#$%... No wonder the waiter kept asking us if we still want more water all the times... hmmmph!!

After that we went to The Old Paper Shop Deli at South Melbourne for a cuppa and desserts before shopping around at South Melbourne Market... and visit the Chinese Temple at South Melb before we went home...

Kiroro - 長い間

[ kiroro ] 長い間

This is one of my all time favorite Japanese song "長い間" by Kiroro... Kiroro may not have a very outstanding appearance, but her beautiful and unique voice captured my heart...

Anyway, this beautiful song was "copied" by a Taiwanese singer and made it into Mandarin version... I heard my brother told me the other day, that Kiroro sang the Mandarin Version in one of her mini concert in Taiwan, and she still beat the Taiwanese singer by 100 miles!!! ...

To those who have heard the Mandarin version by the Taiwanese singer... Here's Kiroro's Mandarin version of this song! ... =)



(Note: Does anyone has the original piano sheet for this song? ...I wanna learn how to play this song toooooooooooo!!)

Skinny Dipping

[ 孙燕姿 / 蔡健雅 ] 原点

I wasn't feeling too well yesterday because mind was so worried over 2nd May... The memory was haunting me... the taste of it, the journey of it made me felt like vomit yesterday...

Today, I'm feeling great... I guess knowing what I need to do next is good... much better than not knowing...

Anyway, suddenly remember a friend told me about how they spent the bucks night last Saturday... It was so creative and so thrilled... They made the groom wear female dress and put on make-up and stood at the corner of Lonsdale and Russell Street holding a big sign requesting for free hug from female... CUTE! ...Then they went to St.Kilda Beach for skinny dipping!!! ...ARRGH!!!! ...Sound so fun!!!

Rabbit... I regret not going Skinny Dipping while we were at Great Ocean Road... Do you think you would do something like that spontaneously? ...I wonder who would join me if I suddenly strip myself bare and skinny dipping... hehehe... Anybody?! ... =P

Sometimes it's cool to do something crazy...

Piggy in your palm...

[ akon ] i wanna love you

It's not even a month since... our communication has dropped drastically...
We don't email like we used to... We don't sms like we used to...
We don't joke like we used to...
We don't see each other much like we used to...

You still sms me at night (except Fri/Sat) to remind me to sleep early...
You still shoot me extremely short email to say "HI" every morning...
You still burn me DVDs when there's some good movies/animes...
You still request me to make you Honey Lemon Tea occasionally...
You remember to send me the Origami I asked for a few weeks ago...
You always tell me you are holding the cute little piggy in your palm...

I have been so occupied with my own problems...
I probably have distance myself from you...
I probably have restrained myself from initiate to sms/email you...
But I have never failed to reply your email if you send me one...

Anyway, I know you miss me sometimes... so am I...
But the timing is just not right...
Sorry...

Expecting the expected...

[ mika nakashima ] glamorous sky

Sometimes when there's uncountable uncertainties... When we don't know our current condition or status... It is absolutely hard to make any decision based on all the unknown, isn't it?

Most of the times, we spend too much time trying to figure out what we want, and what's the best for us, and yet still couldn't come up with an answer... Well, instead of trying to figure out what we want or what's best... perhaps it's easier to work backwards - to find out what we don't want and slowly work out what's the best for us or what we want? ...

I don't want to regret one day for not doing enough... Regrets is not want I want... Hence, I have chosen to go down that path again... thinking about it already making me feel sick to the stomach and wanna vomit... It's not going to be easy, I know... and it takes a lot to be strong mentally...

I shall be fine... I will be fine... 3 months passes by quick... I hope...
It's only 4 times, this time round... I'll be fine...

Back To Deep End... Again!

[ mika nakashima ] hitoiro

Not feeling well today... Absolutely pissed off with everything...
This is the 2nd scan... and I know it's not going to work again...

My patience has been put to test and I have reached the point where I just feel so damn helpless... I have hit the point and I just hate the fact that I have to wait longer... I just don't know what to do...

Wait...Wait... Wait ...
How long will I have wait in order to get the damn answer in order to move on? ...

Endless deep end...

Almost Perfect Guys

[ edith piaf ] la vie en rose

Ever experience a number of good things happening to you that you actually couldn't believe that you were so lucky at that time? ...Ever experience bad things followed by one after another that you kept asking, "why me?"...Ever came across so many "almost perfect guys" within just a few days, that makes you wonder if your Mr.Right will appear soon? ...hahahha...

Lately, I noticed there's quite a numbers of "almost-perfect-guys" around me... They all suddenly crossed path with me this weekend... Actually they are all my close friends whom we don't often meet up (hence, "Almost-Perfect")... hehehe...

Anyway, I categorized them into great partner, great companion and great hubby type according to their personality and character... Unfortunately, they are just "almost perfect" to me... cos there's absolutely no sparks nor chemistry between us... =/

Perhaps it's never easy to move out from the so called "friend zone"...
Perhaps being friends and known each other for too long = No Sparks!?
Perhaps I am not even interested in moving out from my comfort zone... =)

Bluntness Friday

[ system of a down ] chop suey

Woke up so damn early in the morning and drove all the way to find out my scan appointment is actually on Monday!?! ...My doctor has been telling me it's on Friday Friday Friday... and I received the appointment confirmation letter, yet I didn't check if it was truly on Friday... AIKS!! ...Thankfully I didn't missed my appointment after all the mixing up!! ... *phew*!!!

I had a bit of time on my hand after work and I went shopping... Bought two working pants at REVIEW and my bank account hurts indeed... but when it comes to pants, I'm willing to spend cos I hardly find a perfectly fitted pants at all...

By the way, it's my mum's birthday but we didn't celebrate at all... We have arranged to go out for luncheon next weekend instead... =)

Anyway, I still feel the pain over "Bokura Ga Ita"s ending... *get over it, silly!!*

End of "Bokura Ga Ita"

[ gary jules ] mad world

Finally finished watching "Bokura Ga Ita" - the Japanese Anime that I am so fond of... It is such a beautiful Anime (artwork and story wise)... I like the fact that it is so simple and so beautiful and the narrations were so close to heart...

But but but but but... the ending... Arghhhhhhhh!!!! ...I have been raging over and over again to my friend (who recommended this Anime to me)... I don't understand why would the writer wanted to end it that way... Perhaps they wanted to make a mind blowing and heart wrenching to all the viewers so that we all will forever remember this piece of work hey!? ...

I haven't watched an Anime that made me feel this way...
I actually cried over the ending... It was so... so real...

"Bokura Ga Ita" - He and She were 15yo...
I can't wait for the story about them when they turned 21yo to be released in July...
I can't wait... I can't wait... I need something else to divert my attention from this... URGH!!

Sydney Trip (10-13Mar)

[ 温岚 ] 爱回温

.......................................................
Sydney - Day 1 (March 10) :-
.......................................................
Arrived at Sydney airport at 8.45am and wait for Kelvin before we went to my friend's place... Happy Brandon still look pretty much the same as I last visited (6 months ago)? ...Brandon is now 9months old and he craws and he smiles!!! ...So cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

We went to Fish Market for fresh oyster, and prawns and seafood platters to indulge ourselves... The last oyster I had was a bit off, but overall the food is good and the atmosphere was great!! ...Sydney's Fish Market located right at the Bay and watching over the boats and sea and the ANZ bridge and of course the beautiful day with lotsa sunlight was the bonus!! ...

We then went separate ways as the Yoon Family needs to take some rest... and they dropped us off at Pitt Street & QVB (Queen Victoria Building) where we could do some window shopping! ...We then walked to Chinatown before catching the train back to Paramatta to get changed and ready for dinner at friend's place for dinner...

After dinner, we went to have the beautiful pie and hot dog at Harry's Cafe de Wheels at Cowper Wharf Roadway, Woolloomooloo... I think they have the best Pies and Hot Dog in the world... hehehe... This is one of the MUST GO and MUST TRY on my list if you ever visit Sydney... =) ...Anyway, it was nearly 2am by the time we got home and went to bed... Such a full on 1st day for all of us... =)

.......................................................
Sydney - Day 2 (March 11) :-
.......................................................
Everyone woke up late... and went to Marigold at Chinatown for YumCha... I thought I wouldn't enjoy YumCha (cos too much of it the previous months?) but I actually enjoyed it very much!! ...Great food there and some that we don't have in Melb at all... very interesting indeed!

We then took the Monorail and sat in there for one full round just to sight seeing before we got off at Central Station near Pitt Street to walk to The Rock from there...

There's Sunday Market at The Rock and I love it there and I can never get sick of that place... I didn't walk with my friends because I just wanted to enjoy the experience by myself... slowly browsing and taking my own time... I bought a big ring that made of shell... I wanted to get the wooden ring too but I guess I forgot to make my way back to the stall after browsing around... =/ ...next time shall go back and get more funky stuff!!

Anyway, the water front and the wharf at the back and the view of Sydney Opera House, and the view of Harbour Bridge is just so beautiful... We took the Ferry to Darling Harbour and again, I separated myself from the group to sit on the upper deck to enjoy some quiet moment and let the wind blows my troubles away... I enjoyed the Ferry trip soooooooooo much... peaceful and zen moment... hehehehe... of course the scenery is great... Shall do another Ferry trip next time I visit Sydney... =)

We got off at Darling Harbour where we had our yummy cakes and chocolate drinks at Lindt Chocolat Cafe! ...First in Sydney and I wonder when will they have one in Melb!? Walked around Darling Harbour and took some funny photos... =) ...Baby Brandon is cute, ain't he?! ...

Well, after all that, we went to Pancakes At The Rock (at Northmead)

.......................................................
Sydney - Day 3 (March 12) :-
.......................................................
I spent the day running in and out from the bedroom and the bathroom... DIARRHEA!! ...

I was feeling very worn out too after the full on and late nights the previous two days... Meant to meet up with another 2 friends today for dinner, but I couldn't make it... Felt terrible as I was actually looking forward to meet up with them... Alas!! ...I guess there's always next time, yeah? ... =/ ...

Anyway, I couldn't remember much about what I did that day as mostly spent indoor... kekekeke... and the HIGHLIGHT of the day was dinner... Brandon's dad made great porridge!!! ...I normally don't refill porridge but I had 2.5 bowl that night!! ...YumYum... Next time shall request him to make yummy Porridge for supper next trip... muahahahhaha!!!

.......................................................
Sydney - Day 4 (March 13) :-
.......................................................
Woke up early and started to pack up cos we had a flight to chase... The long weekend went by so quick... It doesn't felt like it's the 4th day at all... Hmmm... Definitely will come back again to visit Baby Brandon... =)

After we left Sydney... I heard Baby Brandon cried so hard...
I guess he missed us already... =P

.......................................................
Final Note:
.......................................................
I haven't visited all those places for ages... So many young couples (students) walking around... Reminds me of those days when I used to live in Sydney... Walked down all the roads and buildings... Old memories and feelings started to emerge... The buildings still standing tall, but we are so different now...

Sydney - A city where my love and hate collides...

Bokura Ga Ita @ We Were There...

[ system of a down ] aerials

I have just started watching a Japanese Anime called "Bakura Ga Ita"... It's such a beautiful anime and I enjoyed it so much that I actually wished that I didn't have to fly to Sydney for the long weekend (so that I could continue to watch the whole 26 episodes during the weekend? ...How sad huh!! ...haha) ...

Anyway, I stayed up until 1.30am and reluctantly went to bed, because I have a morning flight to catch at 7.15am!!! ...ARGHHHH... =/

Disappointment + Deep End

[ my chemical romance ] welcome to the black parade

I've been waiting for today for the past 3 weeks as today was meant to be the judgment day...

It is essential to stay relax and calm in order to get the body scan done... I walked in feeling quite relaxed, until the nurse using the baby needle to find my vein without any success... Well, try imagine having someone to poke the needle a few times and see if you could still remain calm and relax!?! ...Anyway, she ended up getting the Doctor to come in and help her out...

The rest was normal and not worth mentioning... and I went to work as usual with butterflies in my tummy as I know I'd be able to find out the result as soon as late afternoon... Patiently worked through the day in the office, and went for my late afternoon appointment to get the result...

As the Doctor called my name... I walked in and he slowly closed the door behind him and said to me, "Your scan result has came out but the scan result wasn't too good"...My heart sunk when I heard that because THAT sound pretty bad. As my eyes was about to produce some liquid... I heard him saying, "Don't get me wrong... the scan result actually wasn't clear enough for us to analyse because you wasn't relaxed enough... it's not that your result is bad at all"... (I nearly fell down from the chair!!)... I'm back to SQUARE ONE!! ...

Oh well... another scan to be arranged in the near future, and that only means - waiting waiting waiting again... I don't like to wait... I am frustrated as I couldn't plan ahead since I know nothing at all... I just want to deal with it so that I could move on... ahhh...

I guess the only positive thing come out of this is that I could probably enjoy my Sydney Trip coming weekend... I guess?

Déjà Vu

[ Kouya Ruten ] Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihohento

Spent almost the most day watching Animes (Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihohento (BKI), Nodame Cantabile, Death Note) and practicing Canon-D again and again (finishing Page 2, finally!!!)...

While I was watching BKI, I thought the theme song sound very very familiar... I have heard it before but I couldn't remember where or when... It's such a strange feelings... Déjà Vu... I thought...

And guess what? ...Around late afternoon, friend called to see if I wanna go out and watch movie... We checked through the list of movies and decided to watch Déjà Vu... What a coincidence hey?! ...(but coincidence is just an effect where we can't see the connecting cause... I think... as they only happens because of cause and effects... blah blah)...

Anyway, I must say of all the time travel movies (Butterfly Effects and etc), Déjà Vu seems to work for me... lolx... It's quite entertaining, though a little slow at the beginning... I guess it's just because we're all too used to those fast pace actions movie nowadays and we are becoming a little impatience to wait for the movie to build up the story slowly...

Attached George Winston (who re-arranged Pachelbel's original "Canon-D") who's playing his variation of the "Canon-D"... the piece which actually inspired me to buy the digital piano after more than 14yrs of not playing piano... I am still practicing (up to 01:48 fluently and still practicing up to 02:40 as many finger works there that I still trying to find the right fingers at right notes to move faster)...

Feeling So Worn Out

[ cake ] i will survive

Such a busy week... I am feeling so worn out physically and mentally...

My treatment has started since last Wed, and leaving work at 330pm everyday only means that I have less time to deal with my workloads... I was so stressed up at work due to it was end of February and we worked very hard to achieve the target... End of the month is forever like that...

Monday
- monday bluessss as usual... Came home and burn some CDs (Animes) for my toyboy...

Tuesday
- saw my oncologist and I think he was so honest that it didn't leave me much positive thoughts to go home with... Though he did say some positive stuff, but I think I had selective hearing that day, as only negative ones registered in my mind... =(
- came home after work and treatment, and rushed out to meet up with Rabbit's friend who came from perth for dinner... Brought her to Sozai & Stoker, the places which Rabbit missed out on during her last visit...

Wednesday
- had two appointments today and I had to wait so long for both due to the nurses was taking their time!!!! ...so upset with the 5 West @ Melb Hospital!! ...Anyway, spent my night practicing Canon-D, and started to work on the handmade A3 size card for my colleague as it's her birthday on Friday... It's been a while since I last made a card so big, and by the time I finished designing and sticked those paper cutout onto it, it was already way passed midnight...

Thursday
- I made my toyboy a big mug of HOT Lemon Honey tea to make up for not able to reply emails this week... I left a cute little handmade clay piggy for him too, which I bought it on Sunday @ St Kilda... Was meant to meet up with Rabbit's friend tonight, but I couldn't make it cos I was too tired after so many late nights...

Friday
- Tulla freeway was closed due to accident... Pascoe Vale Rd's traffic was so bad as we were still there at 845am (an hour!)... We decided to go to Niddrie to park the car at my colleague's sister's place, and took the tram to Essendon train station, and take the train to city instead... And by the time we reached office, it was 10am!!!!! ...To top it up, I had to carry the Black Forrest Cake for my colleague's birthday!! ...I only started to dig into work at 11pm because of morning tea and birthday celebration... 330pm rushed out from office for my treatment and I forgot to pass something to IT guy... What a day?!!

Ahhhhh... this week hasn't been that smooth and that relax to me at all... This weekend definitely need to rest rest rest and not doing anything... because next weekend, I'll be flying to Sydney to meet up my beloved Brandon for the loooooooooooooooong weekend!!! ...