Ready?

I think I am ready... if my time is going to come soon...
I somehow do wish my time would come sooner than later...
So that I would leave more peacefully without having to deal with more...
I know now is just the "beginning" of the long journey as there will be tougher time ahead... that's why part of me wished that if I could leave now, it would be great...

Then I started to think about maybe I could do something to make it happens more faster? Like taking my own control (yeah back to the "control" self again!)...

But then I slowly reaslised that... I should not "wished" anything or "expected" anything... Should wake up and feel thankful that I'm alive everyday, and make the fullest of the day... Instead of wishing that I could leave soon just to avoid suffering...

If my time has came naturally, and if it could end all suffering (myself and people around me)... that would be absolutely wonderful...

But If I were meant to go through more tougher journey ahead, I should also deal with it because it was meant to be...

Now, I could still give, and contribute and do more good things here...
I am still learning... I could still practice to be a better person...
I still have things that I could do to lighten up some responsibilities of people around me...
I could still help... I could still offer... I could still do so many things...

I feel better today! =)